Rick Santorum and the Naughty Bits

According to an article in today’s Huffington Post, “Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum recently pledged to ‘die on that hill’ fighting against same-sex marriage, and made a similar vow to repeal all federal funding for contraception because it is ‘a license to do things in a sexual realm.’ Santorum, a former senator from Pennsylvania, made the claims during an interview with CaffeinatedThoughts.com editor Shane Vander Hart, according to Think Progress.”

This is so bizarre that it requires comment. Let’s see if I understand where Rick is coming from.

If teenagers are using birth control and therefore don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or catching a loathsome disease, they’ll be more likely to have sex. So, in order to try to force them to have less sex, Rick wants to make it more likely that, if they do it anyway, they’ll cause more unwanted pregnancies and catch more potentially life-threatening diseases.

Why? The only reasonable conclusion is, Rick Santorum hates sex! He hates it so darn much that he would rather see teenagers die of AIDS and/or have to drop out of school because they get pregnant, in order to (maybe) get a few other teenagers not to fool around in one another’s pants.

For him, that’s a net gain. More deaths, more unwed pregnancies, but less sex.

Rick, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but your mother had to have had sex at least once. Possibly with your father, but that remains unproven. Possibly with the local dog catcher. Or with a local dog, we can’t entirely rule that out. You’re exhibiting about the same level of intelligence as a border collie, and rather less compassion.

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One Response to Rick Santorum and the Naughty Bits

  1. 5strings says:

    The man is a Freudian Disneyland. I’ll bet his dominatrix makes him say these things.

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